


Seasick

by Mogatrat



Category: RWBY
Genre: F/F, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Milder Making Out, Volume 5 (RWBY)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:54:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24154645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mogatrat/pseuds/Mogatrat
Summary: On the ship ride to Haven, Ilia's failures threaten to overwhelm her.
Relationships: Ilia Amitola/Blake Belladonna
Comments: 8
Kudos: 54





	Seasick

**Author's Note:**

> Rewatched volume 5, had feelings. Bon appetit.

In a ship filled to the brim with the closest thing Menagerie’s ever had to a military force, Ilia sits alone.

It’s bad enough that she’s made a fool of herself in front of them no less than twice, but she even has her own cabin — Blake tried to play it off as a thank-you, but Ilia knows the real reason. The other volunteers are scared of her. Why wouldn’t they be?

She’s grateful for the space, even if the reasons why gnaw at her gut. She can’t look any of them in the eye, least of all Blake. Her spots color-shift all over the place as she remembers that night, embarrassment and shame and loathing swirling into pink and black and red. 

She considers going out into the sea air to try and clear her mind — she’s been in here for hours, on-and-off trying to sleep. But what if she sees someone out there, and they _look_ at her, the way that they all do? She’s not sure she can take it. She wants to get this whole journey over with, wants to just be back to what she’s good at; fighting, taking orders, but for someone she can actually respect this time. 

Even if that respect is tempered by...a lot of other feelings.

The doorknob turns, and Ilia leaps to her feet, hand going to the lash at her side. Blake peeks her head around the door, one visible ear twitching. “Ilia?” she asks softly, and though Ilia should relax, she just winds up tighter. 

“I — uh, hi, Blake,” Ilia stammers, turning all her focus on _not_ turning pink. She takes her hand off of Lightning Lash and sits back down on the edge of her bed. “Do you need me for something?”

“A few minutes away from Sun?” Blake says with a small smile.

“Wait, you two aren’t…?” Ilia trails off as Blake enters the room and sits beside her, her eyes nervously darting to Ilia’s face and then to her hands in her lap. 

Blake chuckles. “I like him, he’s great, but no. He’s very...earnest. And that can be its own kind of exhausting.”

“Oh.” Ilia fiddles with her fingers. “Uh, sorry for assuming.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Blake insists. “I mean, he definitely has a thing for me, but I think he’s given up on anything actually happening. There’s never been a real...spark, there. On my end, anyway.” Blake turns to face her properly, and Ilia shies away from her gaze. “How are you doing, though? We haven’t really had a chance to talk since…”

“I set your house on fire?” Ilia offers.

“Technically, I did that.”

“I think you can blame me anyway,” Ilia mumbles. “I do.”

“...you know I forgive you, Ilia.”

“It’s not...that easy.” Ilia braces her hands at her sides, digging her nails into the covers.

“I know it’s not.” Blake fidgets with her hands in her lap. “It...it took me a really long time to forgive myself after I left. I needed a lot of help...even when I didn’t want it. Sun literally followed me home and refused to leave after I abandoned my friends at Beacon. Without him I don’t know if I could’ve stood up to the White Fang again.”

Ilia chuffs. “Wow. He really does have a thing for you.”

“I know,” Blake groans. “The thing is that he’s not even annoying about it! Aside from the way he’s annoying in large doses anyway, I mean. He’s so sweet and he puts so much faith in people, you just don’t want to let him down. It would feel like kicking a puppy.”

Ilia chuckles. “I don’t know. You’ve had worse boyfriends. You could always give it a shot.”

Blake gives her a raised eyebrow. “Trying to get rid of me already?”

“W-what do you mean?” Ilia asks, and, damn, there go her spots, betraying her. Blake _giggles_ — a sound Ilia’s never heard her make for anyone but Adam. Her heart races.

Blake’s cheeks flush. “You know. What you said, that night.” She swallows. “Would you really have delivered me to Adam, Ilia?”

“I—” Ilia really wishes there wasn’t a mirror across from her right now so she couldn’t see just how much pink was spreading from her spots. “I, I had these ideas that I’d spring you on your way to Mistral, and we’d run away. Hide out in Anima, somewhere, until it all blew over.” She looks down. “But I bet I wouldn’t have done it. I’m too much of a coward.” Black creeps up her fingers.

She jolts when Blake’s hand lays over hers on the bed. “You’re not a coward,” Blake says, her voice almost a whisper. “You’re here, now, on your way to fight back against Adam. I know how much strength that takes. You were always a brave fighter for the Fang, and leaving took even more courage.”

Ilia shakes her head. “I’m _not_ brave. You know that, you...you heard me talk.” She swallows. “It was so...pathetic. I didn’t even mean to say that stuff to you, but I…”

“It’s all right.” Blake runs a thumb along the back of Ilia’s hand, and she shivers. “...How long did you feel that way about me?”

Ilia exhales, pain blooming in her chest. “Forever,” she whispers. “I was a coward then, too. I saw the way he played games with you. Went hot and cold to keep you coming back. You were obsessed with his...his approval. It made me hate him, but not because it was wrong. Because I wished I was strong enough to fight for you. I wished I had the courage to just...tell you how I felt, or at least that I thought Adam was treating you badly, but if I did that, then you’d _know._ ”

“And...what would be so wrong with that?” Blake shuffles just an inch closer and it’s torture, the way their thighs are touching, the low note in Blake’s tone.

“Because it’s pathetic!” Ilia exclaims, a lump rising in her throat. “Stupid lizard, fawning over a straight girl like she’s ever gonna—” 

Blake cups Ilia’s chin, and she gasps. Blake’s leaning in so close, turning Ilia’s face to hers. “Who ever said I’m straight?” Blake murmurs, and Ilia can feel Blake’s breath on her lips. She’s fully pink now, she’s sure of it, there’s no hiding this.

“You, uh, I…” Ilia swallows. Blake breaks eye contact for a moment, smiling, catlike in the best way as she glances at Ilia’s lips. “Blake,” Ilia breathes, almost choking on her name. 

And finally, after another few agonizing seconds, Blake kisses her.

Ilia melts into her, turning her body to get her hands around Blake’s waist, sliding under her coat.. She grazes jagged scar tissue, but she doesn’t pull back, letting the taste of Blake overwhelm her, opening her mouth lazily to invite her in. She feels drunk, head swimming in sensation and longing. Blake follows her invitations, the slightest tugs of her arms, and winds up straddling Ilia’s lap. She’s burning up. Blake breaks off first, panting, her cheeks dark and a slight sheen of sweat on her forehead.

“I’m so glad you’re back with me,” she says, hugging Ilia tight and nuzzling into her neck. “The hardest part of leaving the Fang was leaving _you_.“

Ilia gulps, her hands going to Blake’s back. “W-what about Adam?”

“I...I knew what he’d become. You...I didn’t know. I was too scared to try to find out, if, if you would have reported me if I told you what I was planning that day.”

“I would have gone with you.” Ilia’s throat is so tight it’s hard to get the next words out. “I would’ve done anything you asked.”

“I wish you’d told me,” Blake mumbles into her skin. “But you’re here now.” She plants a small, soft kiss on Ilia’s throat, and she lets out an undignified squeak. Blake pulls back, her eyes dark, giggling quietly as she looks into Ilia’s eyes. 

“Even your eyes are pink right now,” Blake murmurs, a purr rumbling in her throat. Ilia’s mouth is too dry to respond, her body tense and waiting for...something. Blake puts her hands on Ilia’s shoulders and pushes her down to the bed, and Ilia can feel her colors going berserk. She can’t even start to articulate everything Blake’s doing to her senses right now, especially with that glint in her eye.

“Did you like it when I pinned you during the fight?” Blake asks, one ear flicking. Ilia can’t tell if she’s just teasing or if she’s really curious.

“There were, uhm, a lot of, a lotta feelings, right then,” Ilia stammers. “...it was a lot.”

Blake’s ears droop, and she pulls back, brushing some of her hair behind her ear. “I-I’m sorry. Is this...too much?”

“Uh — no! I mean, you can...keep going, if you want…” Ilia bites her lip, taking in deep, heaving breaths. Her pulse thuds in her ears.

“I just don’t want to...overwhelm you, or make you nervous, or anything.” Blake slides her hand down Ilia’s arm, taking her hand and raising it to her lips for a soft kiss. “I’m just so happy you’re back in my life.”

“It...is kind of a big deal to have my childhood crush straddling me,” Ilia says, managing a small laugh. “I never thought…”

“I’ve been thinking about you since that night. We’ve had a lot to do to get ready, but…” Blake runs her thumb back and forth. “I was really just... waiting for a chance like this. Some quiet, and just us. It doesn’t have to be anything else.”

Ilia nods, her colors cooling, heading back to her neutral skin tone. “That sounds really nice.” She wriggles out from under Blake so she can lie properly with her head on the pillows, Blake coming up to join her, wrapping her in an embrace and kissing the top of her head. Ilia’s spots flare pink again, but it feels...nice, this time. It’s something that just Blake gets to do. She nuzzles into Blake’s collarbone, and to her own surprise, feels wetness on her cheeks.

“Ilia?” Blake asks, running a hand through her brown hair. “Are you okay?”

Ilia nods forcefully. “I just...I don’t feel like I deserve this…it’s like I’m dreaming, it’s too good to be true, I’ll wake up and have to fight you again.”

Blake squeezes her. “I know that feeling.” She kisses Ilia’s hair again. “But I’ll be here when you wake up. I promise. I won’t leave you again.”

Wrapped in Blake’s arms, listening to the steady _thump-thump_ of her heartbeat, Ilia believes her.


End file.
